1. I WANT TO BUY EVERYTHING
I don't know about you, but I love so many of the things I see in shops. I look at them, I feel them and I think 'you must be mine'. Then, of course, reality kicks in and I realise that I am not made of money or space, so I can't really own those useless glass bottles in five different colours. Despite the fact that I want to own everything, I'm actually pretty good with my money (always have been, I guess it's a part of acting far past my age) and I never really go crazy and buy things on a whim. I have to dream about those glass bottles in five different colours for months before I pluck up the courage to buy them, but if I had the money to splash around they would be mine immediately.
2. I WANT TO EAT EVERYTHING
Shopping centres are not just full of clothes, CDs and shoes, they're also filled to the brim with eating establishments. I don't know if I just didn't notice before, but shopping centre eateries seem to be stepping up their game. Frozen yogurt, fancy cupcake and urban asian street food (what exactly is 'urban asian street food'...?) shops are popping up all over the place where there used to be just a McDonalds and a crappy sandwich shop. As I walk past shop after shop serving my favourite foods, I can't help but want to binge out on it all. I could spend just as much money on cookies, burgers and ice creams at the shops as I do on the makeup and clothes.
3. PEOPLE WHO SHEPARD THEIR CHILDREN
Now I think this one really only annoys me, but I want to see if anyone out there agrees. I really don't like it when mothers and fathers are running around the place making sure their toddlers don't pull the coats off the manequins or fall backwards down the elevators. I'm not saying these people should let their children break things and/or die, but I think they're going about it a bit wrong. If your kid is going to run everywhere and make a muck, carry them or put them in a pusher. If being confined in that pusher is making them scream because they want to stretch their chubby little legs, make them hold your hand and move on with your shopping in a civilised manner. I don't see why people will stop and let their children go insane right in the middle of a walkway, at least keep moving in a forward motion goddamnit. I realise this may be insensitive to people with really annoying unruly kids, because I am lucky to have only ever associated with well behaved children when shopping, but I had to include it in the spirit of honesty.
4. SLOW PEOPLE TAKING UP THE WALKWAYS
If you're window shopping, by all means go ahead and stand close to the window and peruse them. Just please don't get in front of me, three abreast, and walk at 1m per hour. I find that the people who do this the most are not looking in the shop windows, nor are they old, disabled or in any other way excusable for walking so slowly. It is usually a family or group of friends who are strolling along shoulder to shoulder having a nice little chat. Some of us don't have time to walk from Target to Toys 'r' Us like a zombie.
5. WHEN THEY'RE SOLD OUT OF WHAT YOU WANT
This always happens to me with beauty products. I get my heart set on some product I've heard amazing things about, collect the courage and the funds to buy said product and go into the shop to find it all gone. There is always plenty of it in every other colour, shape or formula but never the one I had my heart set on. I had this problem with two products yesterday alone, and the wounds are still a little fresh.
6. PARKING
At some of the larger shopping centres here in Melbourne, it is ridiculously hard to find parking. No matter how I want to avoid going there, they have the best shops and it's hard to resist for long. You can drive around at the peak of the day for half an hour before finding a space as far from the entrance as humanly possible. Don't even talk to me about going at Christmas time, that's something I'm still trying to get over and it's mid February.
7. GETTING LOST
I get really scared of getting lost in shopping centres, especially ones I don't know well. There are three shopping centres I'm fine with and another two I could manage if I had to, the rest are like Narnia to me. The worst of them all is Chadstone 'the fashion capitol' as it is known in these parts. It is the biggest monstrosity of a shopping centre you've ever seen, but it has such lovely shops. I can go years without venturing in there because it's sheer size scares me so much.
8. SHOPS WITH REALLY LOUD MUSIC
Those young/hip/cool/rocker shops that blast techno music as loud as humanly possible just give me a headache. Usually I avoid them all together, are their clothes really worth it? But sometimes I see a cute skirt in the window and find myself braving the sea of croptops and plaid shirts tied around waists. I usually instantly regret this decision, but the odd occasion I come out with that cute skirt eases the throbbing headache the crazily loud David Guetta induces.
9. SHOP ASSISTANTS THAT IGNORE YOU
If I go up to a cash register carrying something, then odds are I want to buy it. This doesn't seem to be a concept some sales assistants can grasp. Instead they go on chatting to their work mate, sorting out stock right in front of me, or (god forbid) talking on the phone. I'm not one for getting too chatty with a sales person, I really just want to hand over my money and move on to bigger ventures, but I need someone to scan that thing so I don't set of beepers as I leave the store. The number of times I've considered stealing something because the girl behind the desk is ignoring me is crazy and kind of embarrassing.
10. OVERLY HELPFUL SHOP ASSISTANTS
Though this may seem like a contradiction to my last point, just stop me if you've heard this one before...
Sales Assistant (lets call her Jane): Hello, is there anything I can help you with?
Me: No thanks, I'm just having a look around.
Jane: Are you looking for anything in particular?
Me: Not really, just browsing.
Jane: Well there's some really nice jeans over here that would look fantastic on you! Or some scarves over here that are 30% off! Oh! Or this jumper is fantastic, the colour would bring out your eyes!
And on it goes until Jane has dragged me to every corner of the store I am not sure if she will ever let me leave. It is one thing to be helpful if someone expresses an interest in being helped, but a whole different thing when someone is having a quick look in your store and you wont leave them alone until they agree to buy something.
That's it, my rant is over. I hope you enjoyed hearing some of the things I hate about shopping, though even after complaining about all of those things, I still love it deeply. Tell me in the comments if you agree with any of my points.
Lots of Love,
Shannon xo
Feel free to follow me on Twitter: @shanny_hudson
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