Odd Things I Believed as a Child

I was thinking about the silly things I believed when I was a little kid and the more I thought about it the more things came to mind. Here are some of the weirdest things I believed as a child: 

BOB'S YOUR UNCLE WAS SPECIFIC TO MY FAMILY 

The phrase ‘And Bob’s your uncle!’ is one that people use when you complete something successfully, it is interchangeable with ‘And that’s that!’. But when I was a kid I thought it was something only my family said because I have an actual Uncle named Bob. I figured that other families may use the phrase and just change the name to their own Uncle. It was only when I saw it on TV that I understood that it wasn’t family specific. 

THE CANNES FILM FESTIVAL WAS HELD IN NORTHERN QUEENSLAND

For those of you who aren’t Australian, Cairns (pronounced the same) is a large-ish city in Northern Queensland, so every time I heard people discussing the Cannes Film Festival I assumed it was in Cairns. I think I may have been in high school when it was finally brought to my attention that the festival is actually held in Cannes, France. This was quite a sad moment for me because I was really proud that Australia held such a famous film festival. 

THE POWERPUFF GIRLS LIVED IN NORTHERN QUEENSLAND

Townsville, the town in which The Powerpuff Girls is set, is an actual town in Northern Queensland. Though it there is obviously no connection between the fictional and actual Townsvilles, I naturally assumed The Powerpuff Girls lived in Australia. I had cousins living there at the time and I was always so impressed that they were being protected by three little girls. In hind sight I’m very glad I never said anything to those cousins about that. 

THE STOCK MARKET WAS WHERE ALL THE SHOP OWNERS WENT TO BUY THEIR STOCK 

Let me take you back to grade 5, my friend and I were walking home from school talking about the stock market. Of course we were pretty proud of ourselves, 11 year olds talking about such sophisticated topics. It was only when we got to my house and told my Mum about our discussion that we realised we were totally wrong. We had been talking about a large warehouse where shop owners (not little shops, places like Target) would go and pick out all their stock. We even thought that when they put the statistics on the news they were talking about the percentage more or less stock they bought that day. Really, it was so simple of a representation, just incredibly wrong. 

THE ONLY IMPORTANT THING THAT HAPPENED IN SEPTEMBER 2001 WAS A BRITNEY SPEARS CONCERT

As a three year old, 9/11 was not something I could comprehend nor was it something my parents wanted to subject me to on the television all day every day. After having not watched TV for about a week because all the channels were playing news bulletins constantly, I was begging my Mum to let me watch something. Eventually she gave in and found the only child friendly thing, a Britney Spears concert. - Lets just take a moment here and remember the days before children’s only free to air channels. - After watching that concert I idolised Britney and took to changing my clothes 57 times day like she did. Understandably, my Mum regretted showing me it instantly.

THERE WAS A LITTLE MAN IN THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS 

My Mum loves the Whoopi Goldberg movie Corrina Corrina and the most memorable part of that film is when they teach the little girl to blow at the traffic lights to make them turn green. My Mum also taught me to do that, and out of sheer luck it worked for me most of the time. Of course I didn’t know it was just good luck, I thought there was someone watching for me. I assumed there was a man in the traffic lights (how else would they know how to change?) and he would keep his eye out for people blowing and change them accordingly. When the lights didn’t change I just assumed he was taking a nap and didn’t see me. 

I HAD A SUPERPOWER WHERE I COULD SEE THROUGH MY HAND

You know how when you put your hand over one eye it looks like you can see through it? You can see the outline of your hand and also the things you see with your other eye. I discovered this in bed one night and freaked out because I thought I had finally discovered my superpower. I tried for months to see through other objects, but shockingly I could not see through walls. 

IF YOU SWALLOWED A SEED IT WOULD GROW INSIDE YOU

I know this one is fairly common and I believed it just as much as the rest. I had a friend who would eat apples morning noon and night and he would eat the whole thing, core and all. I used to get so freaked out when he didn’t come to school because I was convinced he was in the hospital getting the apple tree removed from his stomach. I would frantically ask the teachers and try get my Mum to call his Mum because I was so worried for him. 

DRINKING AND DRIVING WAS FOR ALL LIQUIDS 

If my Dad had a bottle of water in the car I would flip my shit. I was so scared that we would get pulled over and he would be put in jail for ‘drinking and driving’. I’m not sure when it finally clicked that they were only talking about alcoholic beverages, but it was a great weight off my shoulders when it did. 

MY HEART STOPPED EVERY TIME I HAD THE HICCUPS  

I get the hiccups all the time, sometimes 3 times a day. So this was a big worry for me, I thought I would eventually die from so many missed heart beats. I tried everything to get rid of them so my heart would continue beating, but I still haven’t found the thing that can cure my hiccups. 

Here are a couple of photos of myself as a little one so you can get a good picture of the little girl thinking these weird thoughts. 

Me with my Grandparents

Me and my eldest brother Mitch

Lots of Love, 

Shannon xo

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